


The Forever You Reach Out For

by Oaklin



Series: Forever Everything [23]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Daydreams, Dreams, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Nightmares, Poor Self Care, Possessive Behavior, Swearing, aggressive affection, brace yourselves vagueness is coming, head injury mishandling, mentions of bad bad bad first aid, obligatory Kevin Steen warning, obnoxious foreshadowing, sort of, weird introspective musings about awful things, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oaklin/pseuds/Oaklin
Summary: baby!Steen is cold, so he goes looking for a nice patch of sunlight to bask in.
He finds more than he bargained for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> Okay, first a bit of warning. This is super fucking weird and mumbly and odd and confused. If you do not like abrupt, anticlimaxes, you will probably be irritated/not like this one. Sorry about that, but it's the way this one turned out. For anyone who is disappointed after reading this, don't say I didn't warn you.
> 
> That being said, I kinda like this one. I guess Kevin got pissed off about his spotlight being stolen by Beef for the last few chapters and decided to take his time in the limelight, as it were. I'm not sure if it was in his best interests to do so, but there it is :)

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“It’s called cloud watching Kevin. You might have heard of it once, long ago in a distant dream.”

Kevin scrunches up his face into a frown. “The hell does that even goddamn mean?”

“So many questions. Come sit with me? I don’t want to strain my neck looking up at you anymore.”

“You have your eyes closed, Sami.”

Sami doesn’t move or open his eyes, just lays there on the ground, in a patch of warm sunlight. Kevin watches the corners of Sami’s mouth quirk up, his lips curving up into a little carefree smile. The sunlight playing across Sami’s skin sets him aglow, making Kevin squint into the brilliance.

“Aren’t you hot?” Kevin asks, the chilly ground hard and unforgiving under his ass as he plops down, grimacing as his sore knee protests being bent up at an odd angle. Kevin readjusts, stretching his legs out and flopping them over Sami’s frame, resting his feet flat on the ground on the other side of Sami and soaking up his own measure of sun at Sami’s expense.

Sami doesn’t react to having his chest deprived of sunlight, doesn’t even move but for shifting up slightly until his chest is snug against the backs of Kevin’s knees.

“You’re the one wearing a jacket.” Sami says, his voice soft and full of light as he smiles gently at the sky above them.

Kevin tugs on his sleeve, flexing the fingers of his hand and watching the motion for a moment.

He wonders if he really is as cold as he feels. Kevin glances down at his legs, draped over Sami and stealing part of his _light_.

Kevin can’t **feel** the **_suns_ ** warmth.

All Kevin can feel is **_Sami_ ** underneath him.

Sami’s chest expands and contracts with his breath and Kevin _swears_ he can feel Sami’s heart beat through his jeans.

Fuck.

“It was cold this morning.”

Sami’s smile drops away from his face, a frown taking it’s pace and Kevin averts his eyes. A sour feeling almost overwhelms him and he fights the urge to rip himself up off the ground and stalk away.

(stay)

“What are you talking about? It was warm for the first time this year, this morning. Are you feeling okay?”

There is a noticeable breath of concern in Sami’s voice and Kevin relaxes at the sound of it. He looks back as Sami’s shifts, watching the other man struggle up into a sitting position. Kevin contemplates moving his legs to make it easier on Sami but discards the idea, watching impassively as Sami shifts and squirms. After a moment Sami lets out an exasperated sound in the back of his throat and settles for propping himself up on his elbows, the bare skin of his forearms pressed into the ground.

Sami finally settles, then turns. As the full impact of Sami’s attention settles on him, Kevin **_finally_** feels the warmth of the suns rays start to seep into his knees.

“The heat was out in my room.” Kevin supplies, reaching out to pull Sami up the rest of the way, pulling him tight against his knees. Sami winces, as Kevin doesn’t move his legs, just grinds Sami’s body into his own, squishing the other man up against his knees and thigh.

Little crumbs of dirt and crushed plants fall from Sami’s forearms, leaving behind ugly indents. Kevin watches some of the debris fall to his own arms as Sami shifts forward. Sami makes an impatient noise and tries to brush the mess off of Kevin’s pants, but Kevin just tugs him closer, pulls him in harder.

_Presses_ Sami deeper into his space.

Sami gives up trying to clean up his mess and locks his elbow in between Kevin’s calves, pressing his abdomen tight to Kevin’s knees and sighing in what would sound like **contentment** if Kevin didn’t know better. Sami turns back to Kevin, eyes searching Kevin’s face like he was looking for something in particular.

( **won‘t** find what **_he‘s_ ** looking for)

Kevin reaches out, running a hand up Sami‘s back and flexing his fingers in the thin fabric of Sami‘s t-shirt. Drawing in a breath that is all sunlit days and warm nights, Kevin tries to think of something to say.

(honestly, lets just stay _here_ -)

- _ **forever**_ -

“Kevin? Your fingers are shaking."

Kevin looks down, blinking. Sami is right though, he finds. His fingers are jittering against Sami's back. Kevin clenches them into a fist, twisting his hands in Sami's shirt and shaking like he's having his own personal earth quake.

- _don't shake **apart**_ -

Kevin reaches out, wrapping his whole arm around Sami and squeezing the source of warmth as close as he can get him, the gentle heat washing over him faster the closer they get, though it doesn't feel fast enough.

Sami's pleasantly warm fingers come forward, grasping Kevin's other hand and lacing their fingers together. Kevin inhales sharply as the resplendence radiates across his stiff fingers, Sami's light feeling like it's thawing his skin.

“I was really cold last night." Kevin mutters, straining his arm until he's completely wrapped it around Sami's waist, pulling at him until Sami is almost up off the ground.

Kevin wonders briefly if Sami is uncomfortable, but before he can try and unfold their bodies from each other, Sami leans in and rubs his _cheek_ against Kevin's chest, like a wayward cat.

(a **stupid** cat, that doesn't fucking know who to put it's face next to)

Sami reaches up, resting his forearm against Kevin’s chest, still spreading little bits of dirt around. Kevin runs his fingers over the indents in Sami’s skin, brushing off the remains of dirt and grass, the pads of his fingers tingling as his feels along the odd grooves.

Sami lets out a soft sound in the back of his throat that makes something in Kevin’s gut curl tightly.

“Did you call the front office and complain?" Sami asks, rubbing his thumb along the base of Kevin's palm, the odd sensation of his gentle touch and somewhat clumsy execution making Kevin shudder with the-

- ** _everything_** -

“Yeah. They were fucking behind the employees only door though, so I left."

Sami chokes, cheeks reddening as he snaps a surprised look at Kevin and then jerks his gaze away. Kevin rocks back a bit as the flush creeps down Sami's neck.

Licking his lips and clearing his suddenly dry throat, Kevin averts his gaze as well as Sami begins his usual stammering.

“Uh. Well. That's sucks-"

“I don't know about that. I got there after the sucking." Kevin says, turning back around, just to watch Sami's face turn crimson.

Sami pushes at Kevin, digging his fingers somewhat painfully into Kevin’s leg and looking harassed.

“You are such a- You know what? I'm not even going to entertain this. You and you're filthy mind can go straight to hell."

Kevin chuckles, nudging Sami and squeezing their still laced fingers.

“I don't see you going anywhere, Sami."

“I like it here, thanks."

Oh.

(fuck)

“You would." Kevin grumbles, just to have something to say, running the pad of his thumb along the pinky side of Sami's hand. Sami doesn't reply, just hums in what Kevin supposes could be contentment, closing his eyes, mouth turned up in that sweet little smile that makes Kevin's whole body **_hurt_ ** to look at.

“Of course."

Kevin braves another glance, silently lamenting the turn in the conversation. Still, there lingers a slight red hue to Sami's cheeks and his hazel eyes are alight with that sparkle that seems endless and so fucking pure that it makes Kevin sick.

Kevin isn’t sure anymore. Maybe it makes him sick to his stomach because it _burns_ him.

Or maybe because he knows what happens to boys like Sami when they look at **monsters** like Kevin with **_that_ ** sparkle in their eyes.

shit.

“Kevin, you're awfully quiet. Are you still cold, or are you just tired?" Sami frowns before Kevin can even answer, “I knew you shouldn't have wrestled yesterday."

Kevin rolls his eyes, “I'm not made of porcelain Sami. I am fine."

Sami clicks his tongue impatiently.

“I never said you were but you _do_ have a head injury. You could seriously hurt yourself or someone else with your recklessness. You shouldn't have-”

Kevin rocks back on the hard, cold earth, that _familiar_ -

(and frankly far **easier** )

- ** _anger_ ** bubbling up to the surface at the drop of a hat.

“Fuck you, Sami. You‘re not my goddamn nurse maid, so get off your high goddamn horse. I‘ll wrestle whenever the fuck I want, so why don‘t you just keep your opinions to yourself?”

“I just don't want anything to _happen_ to you" Sami says without bite, looking down and away, his voice soft and brittle sounding.

Kevin _hates_ it when Sami does that. When he makes **Kevin** feel like the bad guy for not wanting to be coddled.

The fuck.

“ ** _Sami_** , you-"

Sami turns back to him abruptly, a vulnerable wetness that is definitely un-shed tears in his captivating eyes.

“I'm not trying to smother you! I just want you to fucking-"

“Could have fooled me." Kevin says, reaching out and cupping the back of Sami's neck, pressing his fingers into the soft, untouched skin at the top of Sami’s spine.

Sami breaths in roughly through his nose and freezes at the touch, his jaw working and his eyes sliding closed.

Kevin watches, far more entranced than he wants to be as Sami's adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

- ** _need_** -

“I can take care of myself, Sami." Kevin murmurs, so softly he's sure Sami won't even hear him.

(although _**he** _ always manages to hear **_everything_** )

(even the things I don’t want to be **heard** )

(no matter how _far_ I go)

(or what I **_do_** )

- ** _forever_** -

fuck

“I wish you would let me take care of you sometimes."

Kevin's fingers slide over the top of Sami’s spine and pause as he inhales sharply. Grinding down on words that seem to be trying to gag him, Kevin relishes the pained gasp Sami lets out as Kevin's thick fingers dig into his skin.

“I wouldn't trust you to take care of my pet rock, Sami." Kevin says through gritted teeth, deliberately uncurling his fingers from the back of Sami's neck. He finds himself unable to take his hand away from that skin though, so Kevin rests his palm against the top of Sami's spine, rubbing his thumb across the angry red marks he left.

(marked)

- _forever_ -

(tainted)

- _ **mine**_ -

"Besides," Kevin grumbles, poking at the collar of Sami's shirt, "My head is hard as bricks. Takes more than a little concussion to take me out."

"Aw, really? Like yesterday, you know?" Sami says lightly, shifting under Kevin, who startles in confusion.

(?)

”So that‘s good I guess. You know?” Sami chirps so suddenly that Kevin has to do a double take to make sure that those words actually came out of Sami‘s mouth.

Kevin screws his face up, feeling off balance, ”The fuck?”

“Also, the matches are set for next week.” Sami says through a yawn, reaching up to rub at his eyes, his back muscles flexing under Kevin’s hand.

Kevin blinks, confusion clouding his mind, making all his other thoughts crash to a halt.

“What?”

Sami shudders, like he’s trying to pull himself up out of a cold spell. Kevin watches Sami shift a bit, stretching out his body as much as he can under Kevin’s weight.

“Pierre is finally over his flu. Franky said he’s been less grumpy since yesterday.”

The confusion solidifies into something like dread. Kevin bunches his fingers in the fabric of Sami’s shirt and bites his lip, a desperation he doesn’t quite understand welling in his throat.

“I don’t- what the fuck are you talking about?”

Sami turns to him, forehead crinkled as he frowns slightly, looking vaguely annoyed.

“Are you listening to me? Kevin!”

Kevin jerks upright, inhaling so sharply that he chokes on the air filling his lungs. Coughing, he tries to right himself, breathing harshly and looking around in mild alarm.

Sami is looming in front of him, face creased in worry.

“Oh damn, I’m sorry. You said my name, so I thought you were awake.”

Kevin places a trembling hand on Sami’s chest and roughly pushes him off the bed, ignoring the squeak as Sami’s tumbles to the floor. He clears his throat and looks around, noting the motel room he vaguely recalls going to sleep in last night and the frigid air around them.

Kevin reaches over and clicks on the bedside lamp, trying to shake off the phantom touch of sunlight lingering on his skin. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, Kevin looks down at where Sami fell to the floor, meeting the other mans confused gaze.

“Why the fuck are you in here?" Kevin rasps, wincing as the words grate through his throat.

Sami gets a slightly defensive look on his face and Kevin feels his hackles start to rise.

“You had a concussion! I came to check on you."

Kevin shivers, the freezing air of his room washing over him more powerfully than it had when he first awoke, as the gentle warmth of his-

(dream?)

(nightmare?)

- _everything_ -

- **sleep hallucinations** recedes, leaving behind only barren loneliness and cold, oppressive walls.

Kevin reaches down, hauling Sami up by the front of his shirt and pulling him close, wrapping his sore arms around **_that_ ** skin and breathing deeply through the **ache**.

Sami goes still and rigid for a moment, before relaxing. Kevin flinches when Sami‘s arms come up, one working it‘s way around to cup the back of his neck.

“I don‘t need you to check on me.” Kevin mutters into the skin of Sami‘s throat, unable to be more eloquent, as the - ** _need_** \- to pull in lungfuls of sunlight overpowers him.

Sami gets a hand up into Kevin’s hair and Kevin breaths out harshly through his nose, his breath ghosting over Sami‘s skin.

“Yeah, I know, tough guy.” Sami says, and Kevin can here the smile in his voice.

Kevin should _**maybe**_ dispel this situation.

- _nope_ -

“How is your head?” Sami asks abruptly, before pulling Kevin’s head up and pressing his forehead to Kevin’s, face screwed up in concentration.

“Ow. Fuck Sami, could you not head-butt the guy recovering from the serious skull injury maybe?” Kevin gripes, Sami’s skin like molten sunshine as their cheeks brush together.

“Sorry, sorry.”

“I wasn’t even running a fever, you lunatic.” Kevin complains, feeling like all the skin on his face is going to melt off if he caresses Sami’s cheek again.

It’s still worth the thrill of warmth he gets when their foreheads brush together, even though the somewhat heart stopping nose brush makes Kevin’s blood pressure skyrocket.

(he is going to _die_ , here in this shitty rat hole motel)

- _worth it_ -

(Sami is **actually** going to **_burn_ ** him alive this time)

- _good way to go_ -

(and Kevin is just going to **_let_ ** him)

- _ **yes**_ -

“You’re so cold! I thought you might have made yourself sick or something, over night and-”

Kevin shoves Sami again, though this time he keeps a hold of the front of Sami’s shirt, digging his fingers into the fabric with more force than is necessary.

“I’m not cold because I’m sick. I’m cold because it’s fucking freezing in here.” Kevin levers himself up off the bed, dragging Sami off balance and almost making him fall. Righting himself, Kevin pulls Sami up and proceeds to stalk over to the door.

Sami doesn’t seem put off by the manhandling, he just beams at Kevin, throwing an arm around his shoulders until Kevin starts to feel the warmth slowly creep back into his body at the contact.

“Well, alright then! Lets go get you out into the sunlight!”

**Author's Note:**

> Can we just talk for a minute about the fact that the first time(?) Kevin has an erotic dream about Sami, _nothing_ actually happens? And it's not even that erotic? He like, had a wet day-dream about snuggling and hand-holding, basically, like the loser secret-romantic that he is. That is just... **not** what I expected out of _Kevin_ of all people. Although, I guess to be fair, it was one of those half-wet dream, half nightmare ones, so...
> 
> ...nope, still weird. I mean, to be honest, I don't really want to write baby!Steen thinking about sex all that much right now. That's definitely one of those things that requires much character evaluation and traumatic hot chocolate afterwards. I am so not up for that shit right now. Kevin, why you gotta be so fucked up?
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed and sorry if it wasn't what you were expecting ^.^


End file.
